So often we think that if we just had enough stuff… looks, fame, fortune etc. that we would be happy. The truth is, no amount of any of those things will ever make you happy. Happiness comes for a place inside of you of growth and progress, when we are growing and progressing often times we are happy.
Our entire culture has pitched us this lie that unless we look a certain way, or have certain things we are not good enough. The truth is that you are perfect just the way you are. This article is meant for those who don’t feel comfortable in their own skin and feel that if they looked a certain way, they would be happy.
The reality is that you will never look like the models in the magazine And THAT’s OKAY because neither will the actual models.
Nothing is real anymore, You are at the store going through the checkout aisle and you see a magazine cover with a beautiful model on it. You look at that model and say, “why can’t I look like that? I wish I was thinner. I wish I was taller. I wish I was shaped different. I wish had a bigger this or a smaller that. What would I have to do to look like that?” You begin to be sad and down because you feel that no matter what physical transformations you made, you could not look like her. You are 100% right. The truth is that no matter what you did you could not look like that person. The reason is because that person doesn’t even look like that – they are just a product of a lot of work- called photoshop and more.
We have created an insane standard of perfection in the world. Everywhere you look nothing is real. The pictures that you see in the magazines or social media are often created through Photoshop. The movies that we see, all of the actors and actresses have been airbrushed to not have a single blemish.
In case you are unfamiliar with Adobe Photoshop, let me tell you a little about it. Adobe Photoshop is a software program that can go in and not just edit pictures, but entirely transform them. Not just erasing little zits, moles or blemishes; but entirely changing your body structure. It can make a person taller, skinnier or shorter. It can make their face more symmetrical. It can make them skinnier. It can even be used to paint a six pack on a model. If you want to see actual before and after pictures of Adobe photoshop just GOOGLE “models before photoshop” you will see many examples.
There is also a really funny 2 minute video that uses photoshop to significantly change a model entirely beyond recognition
Entire industries have been created by people looking for ways to look like the people in the magazines.
There are crash diet programs that say they you can help you lose 20 pounds almost instantly. If its not the south beach diet, maybe it’s the Atkins diet, and if its not that then maybe it’s the lemonade and chill powder cleanse.
I will put in a plug for David Zinczenko’s book Zero Belly. Lots of great information in that book about how to have a healthy diet.
And if weight loss isn’t the answer for you to feel better about yourself then there are lotions, potions and creams that supposedly take away your blemishes and wrinkles in 30 days. Lastly, if you can’t change yourself with one of those, there are surgeons that can make you into an entire different person for a price.
Remember Perfection is just a thought. It’s just a perspective in which one chooses to see their world. It means something different to everyone – its nothing but a perspective. For example, my version of the perfect or ideal girl for me is different then the next guys.
I remember being at a party and my friend and I had talked to a couple of beautiful girls. He asked me which girl I was into? I shared with him that I was interested in girl A. He got this surprised look on his face as if I were crazy and then shared with me that he was more interested in girl B.
Isn’t it great though that we all have a different view of what is ideal to us. Can you imagine if the entire world was all attracted to just one person?
No matter what you look like, how you dress, whether you are in perfect shape or have put on a few pounds, you are still someone’s version of ideal.
Don’t try to live up to an unrealistic standard of perfection. Have confidence and believe in who you are.
I have met many different girls in the course of my life. I have met very beautiful girls that are just as beautiful on the inside. I have also met beautiful girls that were not so pretty on the inside.
Just like in card games, you have been dealt a certain hand in this life. You don’t get another hand, you just do the best with the cards that you have been dealt and improve your life.
You are probably much more attractive then you give yourself credit for. And you will become even more so as you create a deep inner confidence from a powerful understanding of you really are on the inside.
Audrey Hepburn said, “
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
A few years ago a model named Cameron Russell did a TED talk entitled, “Looks Aren’t Everything, Believe Me I am a model.”
In this talk she talks about how things are good in her life because she won a genetic lottery. However, she then goes on to state that some models are actually insecure with the way they look. It’s worth the 10 minutes if you want to watch it.
She goes on to say models are some of the most insecure people that there are. She shares how photoshop is just the tip of the iceberg. There is an entire construction crew of makeup artists, hairstylist, photographers and more. She then shows pictures from the same day as some of her model shoots where she looks entirely different.
She goes on to share some startling statistics
53% of 13 year old American girls are dissatisfied by their body image
78% of American girls are dissatisfied with their body image by the time they are 17
You don’t need to be perfect. Perfection doesn’t exist. Just be the best you can be. Anyone can get into shape. Anyone can be kind to people. Anyone can choose to be happy – yes even you, If they would just allow themselves to be. It doesn’t matter what has happened in your past and how people have treated you. In case no one has ever told you before. You do matter. You are important. You are incredible and have great things ahead of you.
I have met many people that say they cannot have a great self image because somebody abused them or treated them poorly. I am sorry that you were treated poorly, and no one ever deserves that. I also want to let you know that when you allow that past event to control your life, you are allowing that person to continue to control and influence over your entire life. Don’t give them any more control or power. Once you began to realize what had happened it is now up to you do what is necessary to create the life that you would have chosen had that event not happened to you. It is up to you to take action and learn to become more powerful because of the tragic event.
Marianne Williamson said:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
You were born to be great. You were born to be gorgeous. You were born to play big. You were born to be amazing! Believe that you are and you will be. Hold your head up high when you walk. You are a child of God and that means you are capable of extraordinary things . Stop being down on yourself for not being perfect. Start realizing all of the great qualities that you have and possess.
You were meant to shine. We do not shine by sitting around and feeling sorry for ourselves. The same way that when you want a piece of metal to shine you polish it to perfection. The same is with our lives. We take what we have genetically been given and then we do the best we can with it. Everyone has their challenges and everyone also has their opportunities.
I know I am an excellent transformational coach. However, if you take me to a hip hop dance, I’m dead. I can’t dance that way for the life of me, and that’s ok. I have developed many other great talents that I can be pretty proud of.
There are people that need you. There are people that you can serve. Look around and find those people. Service is one of the quickest ways to be happy. Have you ever been having a conversation with someone and focusing on them instead of you? There is a good chance that after you finished that conversation you felt much better about yourself. It is relaxing to think about others and helping them with their problems. When we do this we realize that our problems are not so bad.
There was a movie I watched quite a few years ago called the “The Stepford Wives”. It was about a community where every wife looked, dressed and act perfect. However, they were secretly all perfectly miserable.
Stop caring so much about the images of perfection that the world portrays and tells us that we have to be. We do not have to be perfect in order to be happy. Perfection in an illusion that can never be obtained. Start being comfortable with you are.
You were made to be unique. There is not a single other person out there that is exactly like you. Everyone has their own talents that they have blessed with. Some people are excellent basketball players while others are great gardeners. Stop looking over the fence at what someone else has. The grass is not greener on the other side. The grass is greener where you water it.
What talents do you have? What is it that you can do better than anyone else? Focus on what you can do as opposed to what you cannot do. If you begin to be grateful for the talents that you do have, you will be much happier.
Be happy with who you are. You were made to be unique. Don’t cease to progress. Don’t think you are any less of a person because there is someone out there that can do something a little bit better than you. You were born to be you and you are perfect just the way you are
There was a movie I watched quite a few years ago called the “The Stepford Wives”. It was about a community where every wife looked, dressed and act perfect. However, they were secretly all perfectly miserable.
Stop caring so much about the images of perfection that the world portrays and tells us that we have to be. We do not have to be perfect in order to be happy. Perfection in an illusion that can never be obtained. Start being comfortable with you are.
When we have accepted the way that we are, and developed a quiet confidence in what we do well, it allows us to improve. We must accept where we are at before we can move forward. Then we must not be complacent, we must set goals and progress for improvement. So be happy with who you are. You were made to be unique. God made you and he don’t make no mistakes. Don’t cease to progress. Don’t think you are any less of a person because there is someone out there that can do something a little bit better than you. You were born to be you and you are perfect just the way you are.
Invitation: Write down 50 reasons, talents, etc that make you awesome and anytime you begin to doubt your awesomeness read them.
If you are struggling to see yourself as the awesome human being you are, contact me to set up a chat with me.
Remember You’re okay, start doing what’s possible in Your life and you will create miracles!
- Joseph