I can remember on numerous occasions of having my nieces or nephews ask me for help with something. One time while playing a video game my nephew asked me for help to beat a hard part. I walked over and beat the hard part that he wanted me to get past. Did my nephew thank me? Ironically, it was the exact opposite. He got a slightly high pitched voice as he said, “WHAT!! Why did you do that?” I looked over at him dumbfounded, thinking to myself, “You literally just asked for help and I gave it to you and now your upset.”
You see the question that my nephew meant to ask is, “Can you please SHOW me how to do this?” He did not want me to do it for him. Even from a young age we all develop this idea inside of our head that we must – or at least want to- do things on our own. We are almost born not wanting help. We have to take it when we are a baby. However, once we can crawl and then walk, we become independent. We want to do things our way and only our way. We think that nobody can help us, even when they have our best interest at heart.
As we grow up this desire to be independent and do things for ourselves often times just gets stronger. We often times hate when we have to “GET HELP”. It makes us feel that we are weak. When we think of having to work with a coach often times, we say in our head, “I don’t need any help. I’m doing a great job.” Now, at the same time one is saying this, there is a good chance they have been in the same rut in one area of their life for 7 years.
Think about it for a second, what is that one déjà vu area of your life, that never seems to change? Yes, I’m talking about that one that you have buried so deep, because you feel there is absolutely no hope of changing.
I have had had so many coaching conversations start off with the words, “I have struggled with __________ for years, I have seen counselors, therapist and coaches and they couldn’t help me.” What they are really saying is , “If all those people haven’t been able to help me, what chance do you have?.”
However, When those people open up with me and we really dive in, they overcome things that have struggled with for years. Now I even tell people that I am the it’s possible guy. I help people turn their impossible into it’s possible.
So what have you got to lose?
I mentioned in another article how I attempted to traverse this road of becoming a world renowned coach on my own, and to be honest I didn’t get very far. However, once I showed humility and asked Limhi Montoya to coach me, my life has really changed. He provides support, new perspectives and even challenges me to new heights.
I get it, We have equated getting any sort of help to weakness. However, the exact opposite is true when we go to a coach or even a coach like figure or mentor and ask for help, it shows humility and strength. More importantly when we do find – the right people – to help us, we learn and we grow.
You don’t have to achieve success on your own, and if you are being really honest with yourself, you don’t. No one achieves success on their own. Everyone has had mentors, managers, friends and even parents to help them. You may have even had a random person on a plane give you some great advice and feedback.
I want you to remember a time in your life that you had a trusted coach, mentor, or teacher. Maybe it was for a particular sport or maybe it was just a good family friend that had some heart to heart talks with you. That coach may have challenged you, inspired you or sometimes gave you a swift kick in the behind. What impact did that coach or mentor have on you and your life? Did you progress quicker or slower?
I can honestly look back and say that in my life there are many peaks and valleys, however, the times that I have accomplished the most and been the happiest, I have generally had a coach.
Sometimes people think that if they have a coach or mentor, it means there is something wrong with them. That they can’t do it on their own. It is actually the exact opposite, it shows that they are really committed to changing and transforming their lives. It shows that they realize as most of the great athletes, entertainers and business tycoons have that having a coach creates exponential change in your life.
Also, people think that working with a coach takes away what they have accomplished. It is actually the opposite of that. I often times use the analogy of one of my favorite childhood TV shows, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. There are 4 Ninja Turtles Leonardo, Michelangelo, Donatello and Rafael and then they have a sensei Splinter who provides them different perspective on life. I often times compare my clients to their favorite Ninja Turtle and myself to splinter. They go off and have all of the fun adventures and then come back and we chat and I help them get new insights and perspectives to create the miracles that they desire in their lives.
It’s time that we stop thinking that we have to do everything on our own. It’s time that we get those people around us – mentors, coaches and friends that will help us get where we want to be. If you have never had the chance to work with a coach, contact me and lets have a chat about helping you create those miracles in your own life.
– Joseph