There is an old adage that says, “it takes a village to raise a child.” I think even as we become adults, it still takes a village for each of us to grow.
I can’t even begin to share how many people have helped me to grow into the person I am today. My parents, my sister, my nieces and nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends, business associates, mentors, coaches, authors, trainers, teachers and so much more. Each of these people have taught me different lessons that have helped me and encouraged me to grow.
Do you take the time to honor those people that have helped you on your path? Do you say thank you? Do they know that they have had an impact on your life? Do they know that they have helped shape and mold you into the incredible person that you are today?
For years I was terrible about expressing gratitude to those that have helped me, I think I wanted to be just like a little kid that felt like they had to do everything by themselves and never wanted to accept help. The truth is unlike animals that are born and kicked out of the nest to survive on their own, we cannot. We as humans are one of the most helpless creatures. If you had been left alone once you were born, you would have been gone in a few short days or less.
The truth is that we need other people in our lives to help us to grow. Heavenly Father places people in our lives to help us to grow and we many times help them in return. It reminds me of the lyrics from a song called “For Good” from the musical Wicked:
I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those
Who help us most to grow if we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you
Each of the people that come into our life will stay for a season, sometimes that season will be long, other times it will be short, but understand all seasons will eventually come to an end, make sure you take time to thank and honor them.
Today, one of those seasons came to an end for me, last week I began having feelings and impressions that it was time to end my 2 year relationship with my amazing coach and accountability partner. I pondered on it for a few days. and finally that inner voice was able to get through to me and help me understand that for whatever reason it was time to end this. After taking the time to go to my quiet and happy place the temple, I really knew that this was the right thing to do.
When I received that impression, and made that decision I even wrote it on my calendar. And then the past few days spent time worrying about how he would feel. We had been so good for and too each other, that I didn’t want him to feel it was anything he did. I prayed that he would understand that it really did just feel like time. The funny thing was when we sat down and talked about it this morning, he shared with me that he had been feeling the same way for the past week or so as well.
Isn’t that interesting that here I had been worrying about this a little bit and the entire time, he had also been thinking it was right thing to end this relationship.
How is it that two people can feel the same thing at the same time. Because the same spirit that leads and directs him is also leading and directing me and wants what is best for us both.
Yet, even though we are all being guided and directed by that same spirit we try to hold on to relationships that have run their course. We must trust out inner voice and have the courage to follow its guidance and direction. And when that inner voice tells you that a chapter has run its course, let it go and understand that Heavenly Father knows what is best for you and is helping you close the chapter on one part of your life, so that you can move to the next chapter which may even be better than the one you want to hold onto.
But also remember to be grateful because if it weren’t for that chapter of your life, you may never have gotten to this one. I don’t know if we will truly understand how important a person or relationship was in our lives until we are old and grown and look back at how that prepared us and lead us to the next chapter of our lives. Life can only be understood looking backwards. But, the cool part is we don’t have to understand because Heavenly Father directs us through that inner voice to where we need to be, if we will just listen. Even the really hard, difficult chapters of your life are preparing you for the next amazing adventure in your book.
Always be grateful for your past relationships. The good, the bad and the ugly. Remember that talking poorly about any relationships from the past often puts you in a bad light instead of them. Speak kindly of other people and you will be happier. As I have shared before, I read a book each week and sometimes the only nice thing I can say about the book is, “that’s awesome that they were able to finish that book.”
I know it sounds a bit ridiculous but it sure beats getting frustrated and ranting and raving of how a book that I chose to read was a waste of 5-10 hours of my time.
I think some of the best advice to help us be happy was given by the poet Thumper in the movie Bambi.
“if you can’t say something nice don’t say nothin at all.”
Remember these words when you seek to criticize and get upset about the things that happened to you in a relationship. Ironically the more you talk about the horrible things that you feel your ex did to you, the more power and control you are giving them over your life. Once you have left the relationship do the best you can to not speak evil of it, it will just keep you feeling angry and resentful. Remember there were great parts in a relationship.
Be grateful for every part and chapter of your life, no matter how painful or great, because it got your to where you are now in your story!
I’m so grateful for the incredible relationships I have had in my life that have made me the person I am today. Remember to be grateful even when a chapter closes, because as the band Semisonic once said, “Every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.”
Just start now, because it’s always better now than never! When you start, you make the impossible, possible! Remember You’re okay. Start doing what’s possible in Your life and you will create miracles!
-The “It’s Possible” Guy
Joseph