Be Happy Now

For many years, I lived in this not so magical place called Happywheni Land. Maybe you too have visited this place, sitting dreaming for that magical day when you would get married, make more money or just be a super totally awesome successful person. I too found  myself taking frequent visits to Happywheni Land, I spent so much time in Happywheni land that I had a nice comfortable shack where I could just sit and stew over how not great my life was and how I couldn’t be happy until my life was nearly perfect. When I was visiting I would say things like, “I’ll be happy when I get married… I’ll be happy when I make more money… or even I’ll be happy when I get that new shiny toy.”

I believed for so long that my happiness would come from something outside of me. After taking all these trips to Happywheni Land, I have to tell you it’s so overrated and really not worth the drive, the stress or the worry. The trips that I take to Happywheni land have become much less frequent.

Think about for yourself when is the last time that you took your own trip to Happywheni Land. What was it that you thought you needed in order to be happy? And once you got it, did it make you happy?

My guess is that it did not. As little fun as Happywheni Land really is, some people find themselves going over and over and over. Some go so much they even purchased the season long pass. However, it’s really just like a run down theme park, where everyone is sad and continue to say things like “I’ll only be happy when I…” People walk around with clouds over their heads and it’s constantly raining, and people are kind of miserable.

However there is a much better place that I have discovered called Happynow Land. In this place people walk around with smiles, they treat everyone kindly. They find joy in themselves, and in the growth and progress that they have made in this life, regardless of where they are already where they thought they should be. There is laughter, there are smiles and there is hope, as all of the people that still haven’t reached what they believe is their ideal destination in life are learning to find joy in the moment.

Most people believe they need something more in order to be happy.  People continue to chase thing after thing looking to find happiness instead of realizing that

“Happiness is right where you stand.”

I remember in the movie Cool Runnings, a scene where Irv tells Derice, “A gold medal is a wonderful thing. But if you’re not enough without one, you’ll never be enough with one.”

As I said above, I thought I needed that “gold medal” in order to be happy. For most of my life, I have longed to be married to the girl of my dreams and have a family. Maybe you can relate. I would often allow this to be a source of great frustration for me. The thought that I wasn’t married would be on my mind continuously, accompanying me constantly like a pesky swarm of gnats as I attempted to go on with my life. I was so frustrated because being single much past 23 or so did not fit my timeline. I even held the constant thought in my head that it wasn’t worth working hard and making lots of money because I had no one to share it with. I know it sounds a bit absurd but this was one of the constant what I call “crazy leprechaun thoughts” in my head. They are thoughts that we have that seem really silly when you think about them.

On top of my own desires, I felt an extraordinary amount of pressure from people in my culture. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and in my culture people often get married super, super young, we are taking the second their feet touch the ground when they return from their mission… okay maybe not quite that soon, but they do get married pretty young – and that is what I desired. Because of my desires to get married, and the pressure from family and culture, when I was about 23 I even just started dating a girl and quickly got engaged. Fortunately, a few weeks later, I realized from Heavenly Father through some incredible experiences that this was not the girl for me – we were not a good fit; and we both knew that. I’m still grateful that I dated her because as silly as it sounds, it provided the contrast when I did start dating a girl that I had amazing chemistry with, I could tell the difference. Everything can be a blessing, if we choose to make it that way.

Looking back, I realize that I had just wanted to get on with my life and to the path that I was supposed to be on. I wanted to move on to the bigger and better things of life. As crazy as it sounds, I just wanted to be done with dating! I just wanted to move on with my progression in life and the more that I couldn’t the more frustrated that I became.

But what if the path I am on now, was my path all along? What if I didn’t have to beat myself up before because where I was at on my life journey didn’t match where they thought I should be? What if I could have even been a bit more understanding and kinder to myself, regardless of what other people thought about me?

In the past while I adopted a philosophy that I first heard from Brigham Young, paraphrasing it says, “I only care about Heavenly Father’s opinion of me and my opinion of me.”  It has provided me a lot of peace. If I go around living my life like everyone thinks that I should, I am probably going to be miserable. However, if I am making Heavenly Father happy then I think I am doing a pretty good job. When I follow this I am happy and looking back, when I was trying to force my path to work out faster, I ended up making some really silly decisions.

How often do we want so badly to move on with our lives that we make some pretty silly decisions? Looking back in this moment I realize that most of the decisions that I have tried to rush in have come down to the thought that my life is not moving as quickly as I want it to. I should have already been married… been a millionaire, etc… 

As I reflect on my life, I realize that if I would have the path I had wanted, I would have missed out on so many amazing people in my life. I would have missed out on many different experiences. Think about it for yourself, if you had gotten what you had thought you wanted, what would have you missed out on?

I am so grateful for that spirit, that still small inner voice that leads and guides us down the best paths for us. I love the scripture Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all thy heart and lean not to thy own understanding, in all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct they paths.”

When we allow that inner voice to guide us, it really will take us down the path. If you think about it in your life, weren’t some of the hardest things that you ever went through often paths that the still small voice told you no and you went and did it anyways?

Your path will eventually work out and open up, and you will find genuine happiness and peace. Heavenly Father will place the people in your life that you need; I know he has done this for me… one of those that helped me realize I could be happy regardless of my circumstances was an incredible coach named Michael Neill.

Almost three years ago, while I was having a conversation with Michael Neill; he asked me what I wanted. I told him three things that I wanted that I can’t remember exactly what they were, and then I added Michael, I just want to feel okay. As mentioned above I felt that without being married, I could never feel okay. Michael helped me realize it was just the thought, “that I wasn’t okay unless I was married” that prevented me from being happy, and without that thought that I could be happy. This was the start of a massive change in my happiness meter.

Back then I was 33 single, and not where I wanted to be in my life. Today, I am 35 single and not exactly where I want to be in my life, but there is one very big difference between then and now, I am incredibly happy. Yes I have challenges but I have realized that most of them are just created by my thoughts, and as a wise man named Syd Banks once said, “We’re only ever one new thought away from a completely different experience of being alive.”

Three years ago, I wouldn’t have said that I was happy, but now I am incredibly happy, of course I still have my days that I get riled up or get frustrated, that’s just part of life but when we allow ourselves to go back to a place of quiet and stillness, our mind is able to settle and we are able to have a wonderful feeling. And when we have that wonderful feeling we are at peace. There is a really cool scripture in The book of Mormon 2 Ne 2:27 that says, “Men are that they might have joy.” (I’m just guessing that means women also)… We are meant to live in a state of joy and no matter what is going on in your life, when you understand that everything is just thought life becomes a little kinder and you become happier.

We must trust in Heavenly Father and that still small voice, he is truly guiding you down the best paths and sometimes those paths just take a little bit longer! If my life would have gone the way I wanted to there is a good chance I would have never met Michael Neill, and I wouldn’t have learned how to be truly genuinely happy!

I decided to trust in Heavenly Father’s timing and the thinking around it faded. I began to understand that I wasn’t going to get the popular cookie cutter life of my culture — and then accepted that!.

Instead I got the Frodo Baggins type adventure, where I started on one heck of a journey not even knowing the exact route or destination, and THAT’s OKAY! More importantly on this journey I’ve learned I’m Okay! Exactly as I am…. there is no where that I need to get to, no destination that I need to  and yes, I am still single, 35, and I’m OKAY! I’m better than okay as I’ve allowed myself to not worry about any more made up time frames, I am happier than I have ever been!

It has taken a very long journey but now I KNOW that I am in the exact right place in life and have so many cool things happening in my life, and when I stopped worrying about the time frame around my life’s success I was able to just be me. Happy, Glorious, me living the greatest life adventure ever!

Join me! This place of happiness is much better then Happywheni Land that I used to go to. You really can be happy now, take some time today to just be in quiet and just be still, you will eventually begin to have a beautiful feeling and you will feel that peace and joy, and the start of happiness!

Just Start now, because it’s always better late than never! When you start, you make the impossible, possible!

-The “It’s Possible” Guy

Joseph

Remember You’re okay, start doing what’s possible in Your life and you will create miracles!

P.S. If this article has blessed your life, please share it! It may be just what someone else needs to hear, and they will thank you for it!