Finding “The One” is Like Finding a needle in a haystack

In Uncategorized by Joseph Anderson1 Comment

(See if you can find the little animal hidden in the picture)

If you are single, you can probably relate to how frustrating it can feel at times to find the person of your dreams. You have probably tried online dating, going to singles events and you may have even resorted to going on some blind dates.

I don’t know about you guys, but I know sometimes I have felt that finding the person of my dreams is like looking for a needle in a haystack. 

I often use the analogy that finding the person of your dreams is like finding a golden needle in a huge barn full haystacks. You walk into a huge barn, that is filled with stacks of hay. You walk to the first pile and casually sift through the hay. You go on a quite a few first dates, a few second dates, maybe one third date. After sifting through this entire pile of hay, you move quickly to the next, only to find the same results, except in this pile you may find a person that’s not really your cup of tea, that you date for a month. Then, you move onto the next pile to find nothing, and the next to find nothing and you begin to get a bit more frantic until you are quickly running around the barn, looking through the haystacks as quickly as you can, but you are not finding what are looking for. The more stacks of hay you look through,  the more disheartened and frustrated you become, until sometimes you just give up all together.

Let’s face it, finding the one can be really frustrating at times, however, you noticed though that often times you find awesome connections with people when you are not searching for it. How does that work exactly?

It works because you stopped looking, you stopped putting so much pressure on yourself and you just allowed yourself to enjoy life. And when you begin to enjoy life, right where you are; you become a magnet to everything.

Going back to our analogy, what if you didn’t have to look? What if instead of having to searching through towering stacks of hay, you could get a super powerful magnet that would make the shiny needle you are looking for come to you. In addition to the shiny needle, you will draw in every other metal object inside that area including, nails , tools and maybe even a horse shoe. Then you are just left to sort out everything that is not that needle.

What if you could attract the opposite sex to you like a magnet attracts those metal objects? What if you could become that magnet?

I want you to remember a time that you were at a party and a member of the opposite sex walked into the room and had everyone’s attention within seconds. You have seen it happen. You may have even seen it happen when the person was not even the most attractive person in the room. How did they do that?

Now, I want you to remember a time that you were that magnet? What were you doing in life? What were you focusing on?

What if you could have that type of energy, presence and charisma all of the time?

You can! You already do, you just have forgotten at times of the incredible, powerful and awesome human being you are?

When are people most attracted to you?

For myself it’s when I am playful, when I am playful with a girl, I have all kinds of fun and so does she. That’s really what flirting is, is being playful.

The more you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, the more others are going to be attracted to you. Some of the best advice I have received about getting a girl to fall for me was “to make myself as attractive as possible.” That is the advice I give to you.

You may be sitting there saying Joseph, I’m too fat, too skinny, too average, too bald, too short, too tall…

It doesn’t matter! We all have our different levels of attractiveness.

Stop focusing on the things that you can’t control, be an exception to the rule. You attract more of what you focus on. You do not control the physical body, face, hair or other attributes that you were born with. However, you do control what you do with that physical body. No matter what you have to offer, you can sculpt that into the best version of yourself.

Exercise if you are healthy enough to do so! You will look better, but you will also feel better.

Close your eyes and ask your inner voice, “What is it that I need to be doing to take better care of myself?”

Once the answer comes, act on it.

Don’t spend this time single being miserable, What talents do you think would be fun to develop? What hobbies would be fun to try? What skills would you love to learn What goals would be awesome if you achieved them? Who can you serve?

What are the interest that you want to have once you are in a relationship, why not start them now. You will never get this time back and life as it says in a very poetic scripture “really does pass like a dream.” Start living today!

If you were already married or dating the person of your dreams. What would you do in the time that you were not together?

In a healthy relationship, it’s important to also have time alone. Right now you have plenty of time to develop talents, hobbies, goals. Guess what! There’s even a chance that as you go to the gym or to new classes of interest you may just find that shiny needle in a haystack that you are looking for.

Get out there! What are some places you want to visit? What are some goals that you want to accomplish?

The more you learn, grow, the more you will evolve into the person that will attract the person you are looking for. Find ways to serve in the world.

It’s okay to spend time in leisure activities as well. I too am single and at times allow it to frustrate me  and then I started living my ideal life now. The more I get engaged in the book that I am writing, playing guitar and playing sports, the happier I become. 

What would you like to get anxiously engaged in? The more engaged you get, the happier you will become!

What can you start doing today? What’s the tiny step that you need to take in your life to move just a little bit closer to what you want? Let me know in the comments below.

Then go ahead and do them, give them a try, and you will make the impossible, possible.

  • The “It’s Possible” Guy


Remember You’re okay, start doing what’s possible in Your life and you will create miracles!


  1. Hey there, friend. I have learned that no matter what state I’m in, I attract that kind of person. If I’m bitter, blaming, and proud, I attract that. If I’m lonely, isolating, and hurt, I attract that. If I’m satisfied w/ life, I attract that in others.

    I’ve learned to be careful and to discern. Some people represent old patterns in my life. I try and seek the things that bring me joy, as well as the people who do the same. When I focus on living a joyful life. I am already happy, and attract happy people.

    I’m so over trying to fix people. I just want to be happy and help make the world a better place. I hope to find someone one day who wants the same, with all their heart.

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